First, if you have a great body image, read no further. This post is not for you. However, if you struggle with your body image and you struggle during times of intimacy with your mate, then please continue. I may be able to help you.
About 7 years ago I never wanted to make love with the lights on. I would agree to having them dimmed or maybe to a few candles being lit, but let’s be honest, I wanted complete darkness. I didn’t want to subject my husband to the horrors of my body. I didn’t want to see signs of disappointment on his face. This was sad. Especially since he was not displeased with the way I looked at all. The source of my disdain for my body was rooted deep within my own soul and psyche. It was not being birthed by things he was saying or by his actions. He has always been my number one fan and very happy with me no matter what the number on the scale said.
Living like this was very depressing. I was a 38 year old woman with three small children who hated to work out and who also had a constant hankering for hamburgers and french fries. Just ask my husband. And if that wasn’t bad enough, I was a habitual quitter. I would start a workout or join a gym, only to quit about three to six months into the journey. After much prayer for divine motivation and after much practical decision making, I began to make changes. I would make appointments with myself to buy running shoes, get a jump rope, go to a gym, or go for a run. I kept these appointments. Then I found a workout plan that I fell in love with and I have never looked back.
Once I began working out, my perception of my naked self changed almost immediately. I found myself showing off in my underwear to my husband pointing out to him the changes in my body. Seriously, what could have changed so dramatically in such a short amount of time? Not much really. But something did change. Working out changed the way I felt mentally and emotionally and it magically changed what I saw in the mirror. My perception was altered. I still didn’t think I looked like I did when I was 24, but I thought Wow!! I look so much better. Let’s get it on.
A study completed in 2008 at Florida Atlantic University found that when women and men worked out frequently they began to feel that they were better in bed and they also saw themselves as more appealing than before. I am not crazy afterall. Working out worked its mojo on me and it will do the same for you.
I do know women who workout and still struggle with being completely naked in front of their spouse. I want to shake them and say “Get over it!” But that usually doesn’t work. Trust me, the man in your life really wants to see you naked. All of you.
Remember this: men are not nearly as picky as we think they are. They are simply overjoyed that a naked woman as beautiful as yourself will sleep with them. Now go workout and go get naked. Completely naked.